


Catch Me

by f_imaginings



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: M/M, Sadstuck, ghost kankri, karkri - Freeform, living karkat, oh the sads, the dream bubbles dissolve, the sads here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 15:01:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2433032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f_imaginings/pseuds/f_imaginings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the dream bubbles dissolve, who will you save? If you could? </p>
<p>For Kankri, the answer was always there with perfect clarity. </p>
<p>He didn't expect to be presented with a different choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch Me

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the beautiful picture by badmasteryoujerk titled "Catch Me" on their tumblr. 
> 
> http://badmasteryoujerk.tumblr.com/post/98497866555/catch-me
> 
> Do go check it out and like and reblog, they're a wonderful artist and deserve all sorts of praise.

Everything felt wrong, though Kankri had cause to question now whether the feeling of “right” had ever properly existed before now.

The dream bubbles weren’t a constant, he knew that. In theory he knew that, but they had always been. From the moment of quite certain death to the moment of waking, unscarred and whole, in this existence that was surely just a collective figment, Kankri had something to hold onto as what was his “life”. He existed, he was alive.

He reconciled himself with the fact that he was also dead too. When Karkat and his cohort came along it became glaringly obvious who was actually dead or not. Perigrees of staring into Karkat’s yellow eyes made the distinction quite clear. Long discussions about the future, about Karkat’s anxieties, about the weight that rested on the Alternian troll’s shoulders as he and his peers lived boldly amongst a landscape of pearlescent irises, drove home the point that - yes, Kankri was dead. He was aware of that thank you very much.

But he existed, didn’t he? So surely things were manageable?

He existed and his life was pleasant. He was surrounded by his friends for eons and now he was surrounded by living loved ones too, new people, fresh faces, bright conversations and a wealth of possibilities. Everything had seemed fine, no, better than fine. Things were fantastic.

Kankri had purpose again, he had a world to potentially mould, he had a rag tag team of saviours to support and guide through their upcoming trials. He had a confidant of similar hue, and wildly different experiences, and they muddled through their otherness together and the fact that there was a together and there was a similar and there was them was outstanding.

But now everything felt wrong.

The dream bubble was shaking violently.

Dreaming Karkat, who visited regularly and was everything to Kankri at once, looked at him in terror.

"What the fuck’s happening?"

Kankri’s eyes were wide as he felt the ground beneath his feet quake and the wall beside him shake and a tug within his chest that seemed rife to topple him there and then.

"Karkat, you have to wake up."

"What? No. Tell me what’s going on."

"You need to get out of here. The bubble is unstable."

"I’m not leaving without you." Karkat gripped Kankri’s wrist, his expression stubborn even as rubble began to fall down from the hive’s rooftop.

Kankri’s eyes darted in panic between the crack winding it’s way along the ceiling, to Karkat’s stubborn expression and sighed, options unfortunately low, before he nodded at Karkat.

"Fine." He turned his wrist around to grip at Karkat’s own before tugging him along as he ran out of the crumbling hive. "Move!"

Together they ran, pursued by the hive’s imminent demise, and made it out into the open air. The grassy ground was cracking too and above them in the sky horrorterrors recoiled as spectrum coloured cracks splintered out across the void.

Kankri looked about them, there was no safe place for them to hide. Nowhere for them to run together, though there was somewhere Karkat could go.

Kankri stopped and put his hands on Karkat’s shoulders.

"Karkat, listen to me. You have to wake up. You can still escape this!"

"I told you, I’m not leaving without you." Karkat looked scared, his expression seemed stubborn but his voice wavered. Kankri felt the wrenching tug of something awful in his chest again and he shook Karkat lightly by the shoulders.

"Don’t you understand? The bubble is collapsing. It’s dissolving. It’s not safe for you here anymore, you can still wake up. You can get away from here."

"No!" Karkat shook his head. "No I’m not leaving without you. Kankri."

Kankri raised his voice, exasperated, the danger making his words sound more curt than intended. “How do you propose to take me with you? It’s not going to work! Karkat nothing is going to work, what will work, is if you wake up. You still have things to do, remember, you have to win the game.”

"But-"

"You promised me." Kankri purposefully made his voice as harsh as possible. "You promised me you’d survive, Karkat. You will fulfil that promise. I will make you."

Karkat’s expression was one of incredible betrayal, and Kankri released his shoulders and stepped away from him.

"Wake up. You still have time."

"Kankri, you fucking jerk. Stop being such an abominable shitlord, let me save you. At least let me try."

"Karkat whatever you’re planning you don’t have time. The bubble is dissolving already. It’s going to fall through."

Karkat extended his hand to Kankri. It crossed the distance between them, and the wrenching feeling in Kankri’s chest was nearly unbearable.

"Then let me catch you."

Kankri now eyed Karkat, Karkat and his damning hand, with terror. The pain in his chest hurt so much, it just hurt so much. Kankri couldn’t bear to think about it. He had to not think about it. He wouldn’t exist, he knew he wouldn’t exist anymore, but that knowledge did not hurt anywhere near as much as the knowledge that he would not exist with Karkat, by his side. And Karkat was here, and he was so so earnest, so purely generous despite all that had happened to him, and he was holding out his hand to Kankri. Kankri who knew that this day was coming, who had told himself over and over that he absolutely cannot be selfish with this. That Karkat had to persist and by no means should Kankri stand in the way of that.

But he was holding out his hand.

The bubble was heaving virulently now, the fabric of reality was not so much as ripped as it was raggedly tattered, the ground only holding together where Karkat and Kankri stood, Karkat’s anchor to the living realm supporting him, keeping him safe. He would wake up from this after all. That was all Kankri had needed to know before now, but now he needed to know why. Why would Karkat try so hard for him?

"Kankri." Karkat pleaded, shaking his hand for emphasis. Why wouldn’t Kankri save himself? Why wouldn’t he let himself be saved?

Kankri no longer contemplated the dangers of the dissipating dream bubble, consoled with the knowledge that Karkat would be safe, he would wake, and now he simply contemplated Karkat.

The feeling in his chest wrenched at him again, and he wanted to be with Karkat, he wanted it so badly.

He extended his hand, to reach towards Karkat’s. He extended his hand.

The ground beneath Kankri dissolved and with a sudden jolt, nothing holding him up, he fell, his hand reaching up to Karkat all the while.

_Catch me._ Kankri thought, though he could not bear to say it out loud.

Karkat wailed as Kankri disappeared into the ether, gone, along with the dream bubble.

_Save me._

Was what Kankri didn’t say.


End file.
